16-year-old stops his chore of cooking for family 2 nights a week after his sister keeps destroying meals and parents except him to start over every time: 'She'll try over and over again until she can win'

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  • I'm (16m) the oldest of four. I have two brothers (13m and 11m) and a little sister (8f).
  • "AITAH for quitting my chore of cooking two nights a week because my little sister keeps ruining it and my parents expect me to start over every time?"

    My 11 year old brother has ASD. He goes to therapies twice a week until late and my parents always struggled to cook those nights.
  • We used to do takeout. Then last year my parents asked if I'd cook two nights a week and they offered to remove one of my chores in place of it.
  • I was like yeah because at the time I really didn't mind. A few months ago my little sister started acting out and being difficult with a lot of stuff.
  • She wants to stay up late and throws tantrums over not getting new toys or what she wants.
  • The other thing is she hates not getting to choose what we have for dinner and she started throwing her dinner on the floor and when I cook she has started to knock stuff onto the floor while I'm cooking or prepping stuff.
  • Or she'll spit in it a bunch to make me throw it out. Or she'll dump ketchup or mayo in and it's always when I have stuff sorta close to being done or when I've been making dinner for a while already.
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  • I stopped her a few times but she'll try over and over again until she can win.
  • Or she'll start spitting and aiming for dinner. My parents never say anything to her and they expect me to start over when she messes with it.
  • They got mad at me a couple of times when I refused to start over when I was trying to take up dinner and my sister spoiled it.
  • My sister doesn't listen to me either. She'll scream at me that I can't stop her and it's so frustrating.
  • I spoke to my parents so many times and they told me to keep calm and redo when I need to.
  • But I reached a point where I couldn't do it anymore because I wanted to kick her out of the house when she was acting like that and I know I can't, she's only 8.
  • But man is it frustrating and she's so bratty about it. So I quit cooking twice a week and I started doing my old chore instead again.
  • My parents told me don't get to just quit and they're fighting with me because they think cooking is more important and I'm quitting too easy.
  • They said we need to eat and I was doing something really good for our family and I'm old enough to realize the impact.
  • АІТАН?
  • Broad Respond_2205 If cooking is more important why aren't they dealing with the cooking saboteur? NTA
  • OP Luyykkaa That's what I wanted to know but they just act stressed and tell me I need to get dinner on the table.
  • Opposite Head9091 NTA. Next time serve it and tell them if they would like a better dinner than maybe they should do something about their daughter
  • OP Luyykkaa I guess. Not sure I want to go that route in case they tried to make us all eat it. But even just saving enough for them so they can decide if they want to eat her spit or a super salty (or whatever else) dish she ruined.
  • ThatAd2403 NTA but something is very wrong with your sister- this is extreme attention getting behaviour. Do your parents spend most of their time with the 11 year old? Has anyone spoke to a doctor about how she is acting? The fact your parents are ignoring this behaviour is really sad, what is she going to have to do next to get attention? Good for you for standing your ground- your parents created this situation and now they need to deal with it.
  • OP Luyykkaa Those two days they spend more time with him. My sister gets the most attention in general though. They didn't speak to her doctor about it. For the most part they ignore it or they maybe deal with it when she does stuff to them.
  • Pippet_4 Is there any way to lock your sister out of the kitchen? Really the problem here is your parents. They are completely failing to discipline your sister. Just allowing her to continue acting like this is ridiculous. She is eight. She is not a two-year-old who doesn't understand her actions. She knows exactly what she's doing and your parents are letting her continue to do it. Your parents need to have rules and consequences for breaking those rules. They need to figure out how to fix thi
  • OP Luyykkaa Our house is open downstairs so no. I'd need to lock her in her room but she'd have to go in there first and I'm pretty sure my parents would tell me not to lock her in her room.
  • jenjluginbuhl Has something happened to your sister recently or in the family that is causing her to act out like this? I have five children between the ages of 29 and 10 and this is odd behavior for an 8 year old. Something is causing this. I'm sorry you're being put in the middle and just being expected to work around her ridiculous behavior. I would absolutely have put my foot down and she wouldn't be acting this way. And if there was something going on that caused it I would be addressing th
  • OP Luyykkaa Our parents have been buying her less. And she gets less random presents from our grandmother who always bought her a ton of just because presents.
  • The_Bastard_Henry NTA. Not only are your parents utterly failing at parenting your sister, they are allowing her to potentially put all of you in danger of being severely hurt. What if she knocked a pot of something boiling onto you or one of your other siblings?? Yes you all need to eat, but they also need to ACT LIKE PARENTS when their child is doing something both wrong and potentially harmful.
  • OP Luyykkaa She could knock it onto herself too. That freaks me out when she's knocking stuff over. She could burn me or herself. It's so dangerous.
  • Opposite Head9091 They can't force you to eat anything. If your sister has contaminated the food tell them so they don't eat it. And if she ends up poisoning it obviously NEVER serve it. If your parents are unwilling to help the only thing I can think of is to distract your sister. Get her to help and do small tasks.
  • OP Luyykkaa She won't do small tasks for me. In her own words she doesn't have to listen to me or do what I say because I'm only her brother.
  • Low_Cook_5235 Why doesn't 1 parent take kid to therapy and other do dinner?
  • OP Luyykkaa They like to both go to the therapies so they can speak to the therapists.
  • HawkGuy1126 I agree that locking her in her room might not be the best idea either. Can your 13 year old brother keep her occupied/do homework together while you cook? I'm sure you cooking 2x a week was really helpful for the family, but they aren't reacting reasonably. She's definitely lashing out, but that isn't your responsibility to fix.
  • OP Luyykkaa My brother's at football practice when I cook so he can't. But she won't listen to him either.
  • jenjluginbuhl Even that on its own wouldn't normally cause the kind of behavior you're describing, unless maybe she has never been told no or had any boundaries.
  • OP Luyykkaa I don't think they told her no very much before. She's the only girl and the youngest so spoiled. Never too bratty until that stuff stopped.

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